The word: Transformation

when you hear the word, transformation... a few people think about a weight loss journey. some think about a mindset shift.

for me... I think of a butterfly emerging from a cocoon - battle scars, memories of the obstacles overcome and a beautiful new beginning.

and when I think of my OWN transformation. my own journey. it's literally a hot mess. literally. and I am in love with it.

see. 
it's not just about the POUNDS lost, but about the strength GAINED.
it's about the mental toughness and the relationship with God that became stronger. 
it's about the PEOPLE who rallied with me and those who picked me up, lent me support, provided me with a roof over my head or a kind word in the darkness. 
it's about the knowledge learned...

and most importantly, the truth I have found about myself.

for instance. 
I've overcome eating disorders... strict caloric restrictions. 
I've been a size 16 and a size 2.
I've been able to lift 100lbs and not even lift myself out of bed.
I've been able to run 150 miles and not even able to run ONE. 
I've been in a dark place where I felt like NOTHING I did was right and I've been pretty pleased with the person I turned out to be.

transformations MAKE pretty pictures... but the JOURNEY-- the PROCESS of the transformation is not.

the process is not pretty. 
it's not bright and shiny. 
it's not full of smiles and sunshine.
the process is dark.
it's about being MENTALLY tough.
it's about being able to realize YOUR vision is MORE than what you want to settle for.
it's about facing your fears and pushing past them, using them to FUEL your fire.

transformations are not simple... but it's truly an amazing process.
and I hope no matter WHAT or WHO you want to BE in life, you use the fear, the doubt, the dark times to PROPEL you forward... and transform into the person you want to be.

"transformation isn't sweet and bright. 
it's a dark and murky, painful pushing. 
an unraveling of the untruths you've carried in your body. 
a practice in facing your own demons. 
a complete uprooting before becoming." 
--- victoria erickson ---